Uh, bitch, that could be you, but...nope!
After a slew of rejections, I decided I'd stop chasing guys. I wasn't giving up on finding a fella, but instead of me pursuing them, they could pursue me. They didn't. And I didn't care.
Now you'd think, with all of my coupled-up friends giving me the mantra I despise, "You'll meet someone when you least expect it", I would have met the dude of my dreams during that time. I spent a good six years not expecting to find love. Know what? I didn't meet anyone. Know why? It's a bullshit line friends in relationships say to single friends to give them hope and make them feel better.
To my friends in relationships...STOP SAYING THIS. I mean, LAWD that phrase is old!!
My early 30's were spent living it up in Southeast Asia, teaching and traveling. At this point, I had zero interest in meeting someone. I was far too busy learning who I was and trying not to die in a foreign country, learning and living in new, beautifully colorful cultures. After an accident left me permanently partially disabled, I moved back to Colorado with the self confidence I always lacked and a final want to settle down and stop living my life out of a suitcase.
My job brought me to a small town in the Rocky Mountains, where I've found myself as settled as I've ever been. I love my job and bought a house for the first time this year. Since I moved here nearly four years ago, I've been trying to date, trying to meet a dude who likes eating food with me, going on adventures, etc.
My little Rocky Mountain town is the most dating derelict place on the planet.
I always hated the idea of online dating. I'm old fashioned and want to meet guys organically. Due to my hours, work schedule, and secludedness of my locale, organic dating doesn't really fit the bill. I quite fancied one of the officers that I worked with, so asked him if he'd like to hang out one day, go on a hike, get food, etc. He said yes and I was excited to have my first date in years! Dude came to pick me up, we went for a hike, laughed, had great conversation, had an early dinner, and he dropped me off back home. I thought it was the beginning of my Cinderella Story. Ha..I'm so naive! The next day I sent him a text to see if he'd like to hang out again. He said sure, but as long as it was just as friends as the day before "kind of felt like a date". My soul was destroyed.
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| Never has a meme been so spot on |
And thus, the beginning of my online dating woes ensued.
I joined a few free online dating sites - Plenty of Fish and OKcupid. Some of my friends had found success on those sites, so why not? Definitely not Tinder though...I want a relationship, and all I heard from Tinder was it's known as the "hookup" site. Hooking up was not at all what I was into at the time.
I've since learned that the majority of online dating apps have all evolved into "hookup" sites. After the initial "hey" message, once I'd reply with a "hey" back, I'd get a slew of comments like:
"You're sexy, wanna fuck?"
"I like your tits, wanna fuck?"
"I want to eat you"
"Do you like big dicks?"
"I want to watch you suck my big dick"
No. No. No.
Social media destroyed dating. DESTROYED IT. I'm genuinely curious to know if guys get a positive response to some of those questions. I mean, they must, if it keeps happening, right?
During the first two years of my online dating woes, I only met up with one guy. Mainly because I had been single my whole life, I was admittedly pretty apprehensive about dating - I literally don't know how to act or what to do on a date. The guy that I met, we were texting back and forth for two weeks before decided to meet up. We had amazing chemistry when we were chatting over text. I knew pretty early on that I wanted to meet him, but I wasn't going to initiate it. After two weeks, he finally said he really wanted to meet me. We ended up going out for pie and coffee and it was awful! (The pie was good though). He was so awkward and not at all like he was when we were texting. Dud. Dud. Dud.
I spent the next year randomly on and off dating sites, getting fed up with "wanna fuck?" messages, that I'd leave, then come back a month later.
January 1, 2018 I made it my resolution (I NEVER make New Year's Resolutions) to put myself out there more, say yes to dates more often, and open my mind to the World of Online Dating. For real. My best friend convinced me to join Tinder, and honestly, I've had more success on Tinder than any other app because it's not transparent. I'm fully embracing what Tinder is, and have been on more dates over the last year than I have during my entire adult life. I've met some genuinely nice guys, and have met some genuine assholes.
So this blog is to share my struggles and successes of The Game. It's lighthearted and candid, just like me. Full of swear words, because that's who I am. Hopefully dudes will read this and get a clue. Cause yo, I'm tired of being single...But I don't need a man to be happy. I know I can survive on my own - I have been surviving for 37 years. I just want someone to laugh and share adventures, and eat food next to.
